


_ I've been down onto my knees.

by BeStill



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, and in love with newt, but also hot, but life happens, newt is sassy, thomas is hopeless, thomas is with gally and newt is pissed off, yo-yo relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-08-31 05:00:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8565046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStill/pseuds/BeStill
Summary: Thomas and Newt had broken up badly. Thomas thought he would never seen Newt again (at least, he hoped that) and he thought that everything would have been okay and that start a new relationship with Gally wouldn't have been a problem.
But what if then life happens again and they meet at a party where at the question “do you know Newt?” Thomas surprises himself saying “no, nice to meet you”?





	1. What if the Devil is in front of you?

Thomas thought that he would never see Newt again. Not after their last break up.  
Not after all the fire in their mouths, the kicks to their dignity, the battles for establish who was the winner - and after all what they managed to do was sitting there, waiting for an end.  
Yes, that break up wasn't something far or strange. Everyone was expecting something like this.  
  
Newt had decided to hide himself under rules similar at "don't think about it for more than two seconds", "don't call him even if you're _dying_ ".  
Thomas had been more realistic. He had took the opportunity to change, move on. He had wounds, a lot, but he had decided to not let that _thing_ destroy him.  
  
So, after four months where his mind had been full of thoughts and memories and shit like that he just froze when he saw the object of his nightmares right in front of him. Newt was there, at the party where Minho had assured " _no way man, he definitely won't be there!_ ".  
  
Thanks Minho and _fuck you so much_.  
  
Thomas was taking a step back, wondering if the best choice was run and run and run and never turn back or...  
  
"Hey Thomas!" a voice was calling him and he was starting to hate his name. A slightly drunk girl with a nice face that was in his class was dragging his world to an end in that moment.  
  
"Do you know Newt?" Oh, no, not really. I fucked with him in every single place _and_ position, what do you expect?  
  
"No!", his voice was unfamiliar as the hand that he was offering to the other, "I'm Thomas, nice to meet you."  
  
Ok, so... _What the hell he was doing?_  
Good question.  
  
The blondie took his hand with a strange look - and Thomas thought that the only touch would be the death of him.  
“Hi to you... I guess?” a question mark was visible on his head and that strange look became a sort of _what-is-wrong-with-you-oh-my-god_ face. Their hands shook and as expected that touch did not pass unnoticed and Thomas forced himself to leave the grip.  
A little breath. Another one.  
  
He found himself stare into Newt eyes for a little longer.  
  
_Shit, I have to kill Minho for sure._  
  
“So... I... Have to go now”, Thomas said trying to not rub his hand on his jeans.  
  
“Where?”, the blondie asked suddenly with a smirk. Surely the Devil had not let that body.  
  
Thomas decided to tell him the truth. Or what was almost the truth. A sort-of-truth. A not-entirely-truth-but-for-now-yes truth. “My boyfriend is here, somewhere...”, a little pause. Another – umpteenth – breath, “I have to found him”.  
  
He knew that it wasn't something nice to tell to your ex. Or, at least, definitely something not to tell to the boy that you still love (even if you say _no_ ). Newt didn't seem hit by the news, he was continuing staring at him, trying to discover something into his eyes maybe, and this – _this_ – was what told him to go. To his new boyfriend. To Gally. Yes. _Gally_. Not there where Newt was so... _Fuck_ , why Newt always seemed so hot?  
  
Why they had broke up?  
  
“Oh, so you are like a dog that can not stay away from his master now, _Tommy_?”  
  
_Oh, yeah, that's why._

***

  
The time passed without so many problems, even if to forget the previous meet was difficult. Why Newt was there?  
And why Gally now was trying to catch his attention moving an hand before his eyes?  
  
“-mas? Thomas?”, Gally was looking at him with an expression that Thomas did not know how to define. Worried? Irritated because he wasn't listening?  
  
“Yeah, I'm sorry, tell me”  
  
“Nothing, don't worry. You okay?”, if possible his eyebrows were more corrugated than usually. That little particular was enough to let Thomas laugh like an idiot and Gally changed his expression in another one more worried. Probably he was starting to consider the possibility to call a psychiatrist.  
  
“Yeah, everything is okay.”  
  
Tell him or not tell him that Newt was at the party?  
As everything that was about him, he decided to tell him nothing.  
  
Newt was a thing that only Thomas was capable to understand. Not to mention that talk about him was strange, and surely not a topic that he loved.  
He was going ahead, but he still needed to be cured. Still dreams about him, nightmares where they were still together and the things were worse than ever.  
Every single word said by Newt was right under his skin and sometimes Thomas was sure that sooner or later he would have new tattoos.  
  
“Do you want drink something?” he heard his _boyfriend_ ask and then stand up.  
  
“Yep, search for something strong. Very strong. Like _I-do-not-want-to-wake-up_ type of strenght.”  
  
“... You sure you are good?”  
  
“Very good. And better with a double Vodka mixed with Gin and Tequila.”  
  
“Are you trying to pass out?” Gally, laughing, was going to the bar when Thomas thought that maybe pass out wasn't a bad idea in that moment.  


Gally was great. As person, friend and boyfriend - even if that name, for Thomas, was still unsure. What was a boyfriend? A friend that you fuck or that fucks you? Nope. A friend that you love? Thomas loved everyone of his friends (today _definitely_ not Minho, but still the point was there).  
  
What was then? He remembered how he had loved (“had loved”? Oh, _sure_ ) Newt. How much of his time was spent just thinking about him. Would ever he been able to love like this again?  
Well, sure. No one could have said “no, you don't, deal with it” (unless that that person wasn't Newt. He would surely been happy to tell him something like this), but anyway every advice from family and friends seemed false.  
  
But Gally was there, even if Thomas not always was there too with his mind. Was there and he had showed constantly that there was no place where he would rather be. Life with him was not easy, their characters were... Different, maybe the opposite. Gally was rude, often an idiot, it was hard be able to be understood by him.  
  
… But then there was the sex thing. And it was _so good_ that the first time Thomas had hoped it would never end and he really thought to have found the man of his life.  
  
What can do a great fuck. Amazing.  
  
Previous topic: how perfect was Gally and how idiot was Thomas. And how hot ( _again_ ) was Newt. The hottie was greeting him, gesturing with his hand something like “come on”. Or maybe a “go away” sign?  
Thomas wasn't sure and the alcohol in his veins didn't help him understand.  
  
_Do not stare Thomas, don't you dare, for fuck's sake. Observe what you want, kiss Gally, kiss the waitress if you really want or start to sing Wannabe pretending to be one of the Spice Girls but, please, please, please, stay where you are._  
  
And was exactly in that moment that he stood up and reached Newt in the kitchen.


	2. Trigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why did you lie out there?”
> 
> Load the gun.  
> Aim.  
> Pull the trigger.
> 
> On Thomas' lips appeared a grin. “Maybe because, after all, I wish it wasn't a lie. I regret knowing you.”
> 
> Fire.
> 
> Newt, again, took the hit but without saying a word, just observing the other boy. “I see”.

**Trigger:**  
** [trig-er] **  
**noun: - anything, as an act or event, that serves as a stimulus**  
** and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.**

  
  
The light was dim and the white furniture made everything look a little bigger and comofrtable. Thomas was glad that at least the room wasn't oppressing him.  
_Closed windows, no way to go_ , he thought, with a disappointed expression on his face.

Suddenly everything hit him as the alcohol had left his body without any type of warning. But it was still there, still in his veins, in his head. That information was enough for him to think “Tomorrow I will not remember this”. He hoped this so much even though he was just tipsy – _Maybe I can still get wasted. Just a few bottles and_ _–_

With a sigh Thomas leaned his back on the sideboard behind him and looked up to the other, waiting for something.

When did breathing become so difficult? Was he even breathing? And why this? Why now?

His thought ran to Gally, alone in the other room. And now, just to make things easier, he was wondering why Newt had such beautiful eyes – so dark that Thomas had often thought they would have been the death of him. He thought about the Nietzsche quote about the abyss found and it suddenly made sense.

  
“So... Wha-” he tried to say, when Newt, with a not so gentle “mpft” was able to stop every attempt to continue.

“Dickhead” the blondie affirmed with a killer look on his face. Thomas froze a little, deciding to stay there where he was, just rising an eyebrow looking at him with confusion.

“I'm sorry?”

With a fluent movement Newt took a cigarette from the pack in his hand and once between his lips he lit it. It took him almost two minutes before Newt began to talk again.  
Thomas was impatient and yet curious. Why the curiosity? Because he really was a dickhead, point to Newt.

  
“What was that? You don't know me?”, a pause and another glacial glance “– has it come to this, then?”

“Yes” a single word was enough. His throat was dry and he pressed more his back to the sideboard, resisting to the urge to look away.

“What's your problem, Thomas? Because I'm bloody sure that you have something that just doesn't work in your head.”

  
_Thanks Newt, nobody can remember me why I hate you better than you._

“No problem here.”

“Why did you lie out there?”

  
_Load the gun._  
_Aim._  
_Pull the trigger._

On Thomas' lips appeared a grin. “Maybe because, after all, I wish it wasn't a lie. I regret knowing you.”

_Fire._

Newt, again, took the hit but without saying a word, just observing the other boy. “I see”.

  
What was that now? That feeling that something terrible was about to happen, that even after hundreds of attempts nothing would have ever been okay again. _He_ pulled the trigger, for fuck's sake.  
_He_ was saying things that for years, not just four months, were there, on the tip of his tongue.

 _He_ was so stupid to be unable to say what he knew that would have been the death of his relationship.

After so long, after all the fights, he was tired and he hated Newt.

He really hoped that one day he would have been able to wake up and realize that everything was a dream. Obviously, it never worked. A new day, another pointless fight.

His patience was _so_ low.

And now Newt was there, right before his eyes, and Thomas was trying _so hard_ to keep that grin on his face, it was the only way to establish who was the winner in that discussion.

Again, the same old habits as if everything was a war, a competition.

  
“You still have that bracelet” said Newt, glaring at Thomas' wrist, almost smiling. Thomas made his best resisting to the temptation to cover it with the other hand.

“I like it” he said simply, trying to act natural while searching for the corresponding bracelet on Newt's wrist.

Long sleeves, fuck.

“I still have it too”, the blondie rose his sleeve enough to let him check. Still there.

  
Thomas' heart lost a beat but letting Newt notice wasn't planned. He had a program? What news.  
He was angry with that boy and now he was even angrier to himself. Losing a beat for something like this? Oh, no. Fuck no.  
He looked around the kitchen until he found the object of his research: scissors.

_Good._

He took them, and with no second thought he cut the bracelet.

  
“Don't misinterpret. I don't really give a shit about you or this bracelet.”

Newt, now, seemed different. Like a little baby whose puppy had just been killed.  
It wasn't something an outsider would understand. If someone had entered in the room in that precise moment, the heavy atmosphere just wouldn't get to them.  
It was something that only Thomas, after all the things they went through, was able to identify. And he knew another thing: after a moment of weakness like that Newt was always more pissed off.

So the storm, the quiet, and then the storm again but multiplied ten times.

It was in that moment that Gally entered in the kitchen with a smile towards Thomas. After two seconds his look was captured by the presence of Newt and his expression went from a relaxed one to a murderous one in less than a blink.

  
“So you were here”, he said to his boyfriend ignoring the other.

“Yeah, sorry if I suddenly disappeared, I was talking to Newt about Minho and Teresa”, lying to him wasn't that hard, right?

  
He reached Gally's personal space and pressed his lips onto the blond's, as if that kiss proved that Thomas was over Newt, that his life got better thanks to him.

“What about them?” the blondie asked and Thomas really hoped that something hit him right in the face. Like, now. Immediately. If possible he would have suggested his punch. “We weren't talking about those two love-birds”

 _Really?_ He couldn't even get along with that version of the story where they had a simple conversation?  
He was _so_ tired of hearing his British accent (even though always adored it) and all those pointless remarks.

He could literally _feel_ Gally staring at him. He'd never had such a strong urge to kill someone. Newt, in that case. It would have been the best idea of the day, by the way.

“So...”, the voice of Gally revealed that he wasn't impressed, just a little annoyed. Nice. Thomas could feel an arm around his hips, finding himself closer to his boyfriend.  
He was so tall and big compared to him that for a moment he thought to be the damsel in distress.

“Newt, anyway, can you go fuck yourself for a moment? And 'for a moment' I mean 'go and never return'.”

  
Thomas opened his eyes and almost started laughing without stopping himself. What was he saying?  
He slipped a hand behind Gally's back and the smile on his face returned. He was so proud of his boyfriend and in that moment he was even proud to say “boyfriend”.

Newt was still there but hit by what Gally had said. Great. Point for Thomas. Or Gally.  
Well, same team.

His ex took a deep breath to calm down and left, reaching the other room with a terrible look in his eyes.

 

 _Tonight Gally will fuck me. Twice._

 


	3. Problems meant running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh my God.”
> 
> His voice sounded tired even to his own very ears and he glanced at the boy facing his front door. The blondie rose his head with a weak smile, then chuckled a little.
> 
> “Well, you can call me Newt as always.”
> 
> “I call you problem.”
> 
> “Do you?”

Thomas wasn't sure about his own thoughts. He had this inhability to understand what he was hoping, thinking, even when it was simple. When he was in trouble, no matter what kind of trouble, he just ran away avoiding everything.

Understanding his own emotions? What a thing. What a fantasy.

Something happened? _If you try hard enough not to see the issue it eventually goes away_ was his answer every time. If you had to run for your life and you hurt your leg you had to run anyway.

This was his state of mind. You will eventually fix your wound later, if you really have to (it's not so necessary anyway, the pain will go away one way or another. Or you'll die. Well, even in that case the pain would disappear, so the point doesn't change)

And then there was Newt. And it was difficult, sometimes way too much.

Thinking about him was painful, but having to deal with him in person was heartbreaking to a whole new level.

As they were chatting, all Thomas could think about was to reach for the blond and hug him. Let everything go. Give him another chance.

But then there were the memories and he knew that it was impossible for both of them to return to the beginning point, when everything was simple and they could easily laugh without a real reason, just because.

The alcohol was gone (or well, he hoped it was), nothing remained but a headache and a depression that Thomas wouldn't want to show to Gally.

So there he was, laughing, listening to what his boyfriend was saying, kissing him whenever he could, because that would have been enough to keep his thoughts away.

***

So now they were there, in a... toilette? When did it happen? Anyway, in this toilette with his body pressed against the wall and Gally before himself. His mind full of questions all of a sudden and no answers. He was just going with the flow, and he didn't have the strenght to say “no”. And he didn't really wanted to say it. But Gally's kisses were strangely sweet, calm, and Thomas felt guilt in his chest.

_He wouldn't dare to punch me even now. Now that I was, in fact, still thinking about my ex. Just... Really? Because c'mon, he knows. He surely knows._

  
“You want me?” Thomas asked suddenly, trying to distance himself from Gally's body as much as he could.

“I think it's pretty obvious?” Gally rose an eyebrow looking down at his boner, which was pretty visible even though he still had his pants on.

“What about you? If you want we can st-” “No!”, he pressed his lips onto Gally's, keeping his face with both hands.

“I want... I just... I want it, ok? I want you.”

Thomas shook his head like he was ordering his thoughts. He wanted Gally, right? He was an easy way-out. A permit to be happy. Well, happy and often upset with his way to do things, but that was another story.

Gally's smile always seemed forced and kind of tired? Thomas felt a punch to the gut.

“Yeah, don't worry. I know.”

  
A kiss on his lips and Thomas decided to not think about anything else besides the body pressed against his own.

He remembered how Newt wasn't much taller than him and how his mouth always found the right direction on Newt's neck. Now, to reach Gally's, Thomas was on tiptoes. Newt's hands were always cold, Gally's warmth instead was always there.

Was it right? He found himself thinking again about Newt.

  
“Sorry-”, he stopped Gally, placing a hand on his chest. What he was doing? How many times has he asked himself this question in the last few hours? And now he was ruining the mood.

“You'll die from overthinking” Gally sighed, raising his head to the ceiling. Was he praying God? Well, maybe. The situation was requiring a help from His Highness.

“I'm not doing that!”

  
Yeah, Thomas. _Sure_.

  
“Thomas” and he felt the hand of his boyfriend on his shoulder “stop that. Newt is your past, right?”

  
_Problems meant running._

At that question Thomas first reaction was to push Gally away with decision as he was trying to breath some air, bringing his fingers to his temples.

The alcohol wasn't gone as he thought and now he was overreacting. He just couldn't think straight in that moment. His past? Was Newt really something done and necessary to forget? Did he really want that? And for hell's sake, did he really push Gally away?

Thomas rose his head, looking at the boy in front of him, just to see how he was trying to not break.

  
“I have to go.”  
  
“Nice choice.”

***

He was walking around the place, the party still on.

Right now the only thing that Thomas wanted to do was being alone. Well, it was hard considering where he was, overwhelmed by people and music and alcohol and all his thoughts.

After the discussion with Gally he didn't know how to do... Things. Even the most simple action, like eating something or drinking a glass of water at least. Everything seemed meaningless and Thomas just wanted to leave.

_Maybe it's better if I go home. And rest. In peace, possibly._

With a sigh he took his jacket and without a second thought he opened the door, ready to flee.

***

“Oh my God.”

His voice sounded tired even to his own very ears and he glanced at the boy facing his front door. The blondie rose his head with a weak smile, then chuckled a little.

  
“Well, you can call me Newt as always.”  
  
“I call you _problem_.”  
  
“Do you?”

  
Thomas tried not to keep a murderous look but it wasn't fair, was it? Newt. Again. In his life.  
He would have said “in his mind”, but serious talk here: he never left it.

  
“What the hell? Are you mad?”, Thomas begun to gesticulate and clear his mind was harder than he thought. He should have stayed at the party, damn.

He should have stayed with Gally.

Oh, God, really? How many times could the same situation repeat itself?

There he was, with his ex, all the while thinking about his boyfriend alone somewhere else, and all because Thomas couldn't read his very own mind.

_Nice life choices, douchebag._

Newt didn't answer. Insted he stood up, his hands in his pockets and his head tilted to the side, watching Thomas in the eyes.

  
“I miss you”, three simple words and with that sentence Thomas lost another beat. With that frequency he surely would have been recovered for a heart attack.

“I don't care.”

“You do care. You _so_ do.”

  
Another thing about Newt was his self confidence. Thomas never really hated it, in fact that was one of the reasons that made him crush on that golden haired devil.  
And now what Thomas really wanted was to smash something on that arrogant face.

  
"You left. And...” Thomas bit his lower lip, searching for better words. “And I did the same. I'm in love with Gally now.”

“Gally, mh? I remember that you hated that guy. Great sex then?”

“You really don't know how to keep your mouth shut.”

“Well, you can fix it.”

  
Newt was flirting with him? The fuck. Newt. His ex. His nightmare. That fucked up guy that he dated for a year now was there trying to catch his attention?

  
“I can kick your fucking ass. Go away Newt.”

And then Newt cleared his throat, “ _I want you back_ , Tommy.”

  
Thomas felt his world go on fire and no way to stop it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, well, Newt is on his way to be killed.


End file.
